Seeing as I have already binged today, I shall not count this as Day One.
I have been considering my weight for a couple of weeks. Actually, I constantly think about food, my weight and all the other related issues. But, in the past few weeks, I have felt my desire to do something growing. Hopefully now I am at the point where I can begin my journey again.
I am currently 19 Stone 5lbs (271lbs). At my heaviest, I was approximately 21 Stone 7lbs (301). I have ‘dieted’ before and last year I managed to loose about 4 stone. It didn’t take long to gain that back.
I am a comfort eater, and I am a binge eater. I use food to cope with my depression. I use food to celebrate. I use food for any purpose.
I’m also the daughter of a Recovering Alcoholic. Since my early teens, I’ve used drink as a way to cope with my problems. I realised that I did not want alcohol to kill me, and I knew that if I continued the way I was going, that would happen sooner rather than later. I am now 7 months sober.
I have started the first ’stage’ as I see it. I have boxed up all the ‘bad’ food – the foods that I have no control over. I still have a few slightly unhealthy foods in the fridge, but I will be eating them as a ‘normal’ person for the next week. Come Monday, I shall have a fridge full of low fat and low calorie foods.
From today, I will no longer snack. I will not be limiting my food at meal times (3 of these a day only!) as I want to take small steps at first. I do not want to ‘crash diet’. I want to change my life and my relationship with food. I want to stop thinking about food every minute of every day.
Most of all, I don’t want food to kill me.
Congrats on all the changes you have made and the changes you continue to make. I think you’re doing it right by eating the things as a normal person. In my first week I went out shopping and bought healthy food but I still had cheese and ice cream in my shopping trolley – both low fat. I really rationed them so I had one scoop of ice cream perday and just cheese in my sandwiches. By week two because I had eaten small amounts of those every day I was so over them. I didn’t even buy them in my second week. Nor in week three. Now I don’t have anything remotely bad because I know if I do it will be a slippery slope.
Just take it one day at a time, you’ll be surprised how well you can do. Listen to your own ideas about how to go about it because I find we know our own bodies – and limitations – best.
Good luck.
By: groovybabe on June 28, 2007
at 7:46 pm